She died in her sleep sometime in the morning of Friday the 29th of September. She seemed to be peaceful.

Please keep listening to her stories, enjoying life, reading to children, growing good food, eating less meat, and creating things for your loved ones.

If anyone would like to reach out to me, you can do so at the following email address: frigon.henry@gmail.com. Please put “Kayray” in the subject so I know it isn’t spam. I will read them all but may not answer right away.

Henry.

Ok day. Knit some, read lots. Was able to hang out in the living room this morning long enough to have some quality time with my sweetie. <3

Whoof, it was a rough night — many false pump alarms and many trips to the loo. Too tired to do anything today but self care: stayed in bed, ate leftover black bean soup, watched stuff, daydreamed about the food I’m too tired to cook and too full to eat.

I want hot sweet Thai stirfry with rice noodles and tofu, I want scalloped potatoes, I want lemon blueberry muffins, I want peanut brittle, I want garlicky pasta, I want nachos with homemade spicy cheese sauce, I want vast quantities of steamed broccoli with butter, I want big crunchy salads, I want cottage pie, I want snickerdoodles, I want a heap of chard with butter and lemon, I want ginger cake, I want cinnamon rausin bread, I want rice with butter, I want pizza, I want lemon yogurt, I want a whole steamed cauliflower.

Well, tomorrow maybe I’ll be able to make lemon yogurt, and maybe scrape up the energy to harvest and sauté some chard. Mmm chard.

Watching a really terrible British cooking contest show on Netflix. I guarantee it’s a one-season wonder. “The Big Family Cooking Showdown” starring glum families (except for the one family who are insane rather than glum) cooking unpleasant-looking food, hosted by hosts with zero charisma and not much to say. Lol. I think one episode will be quite enough.

Tomorrow I’ll watch bake off again on Netflix so they get viewing numbers.

Here is a Before photo, showing my cluttered tray-table with my important stuff stored in a cardboard box:

And here, oh here, are three photos of my beautiful cherry-trimmed, custom-made shelfy-thing (anyone have a better name for it? “Organizer” sounds too office-y)

He built it just for me! We measured out exactly the dimensions I wanted, and he drew it up so the bits went together perfectly, and he took such care in building it for me. I am a lucky, lucky girl *heart eyes*

Oh I also finished winding all twelve 50g skeins of cotton yarn (for Chloe’s baby blanket) into 100gm balls, joined with the Russian Join, which is best for cottons, so that will save effort as I’m knitting.

https://ravel.me/kayray/hb8

I ate a lot today. Feeling horrible and full doesn’t bother me quite as much if I can sorta nap through it.

Henry did tons of chores and housework while Lulu and I snuggled in bed and I helped her read the words in her new Nintendo game, Fae Farm. Super cute but lots of reading to get started. She’s got the hang of it now and can probably have fun on her own, exploring and crafting.

I am plum worn out now, hoo boy. Time to zone all the way out in front of Fargo, s01e05.

Oh! This morning for breakfast I made a lemon yogurt that’s as good as or better than my favorite lemon yogurt that Trader Joe’s discontinued! Whisk together a tablespoon of sugar and a tablespoon of fresh lemon juice, then whisk into a half-cup of thick yogurt. I used my homemade whole milk strained-kefir yogurt but storebought Greek yogurt should work fine. Add more lemon or sugar to customize, or some lemon zest if you like it. So good, so sharp and fresh-tasting!

And then I was ALL WORN OUT, naturally, having clocked over 1000 steps, but for a good and satisfying reason so I went back to bed in the early afternoon for drawing and audiobooks and zoning out. At about 3 I baked my casserole and have been working on it very slowly while watching season 1 of Fargo. Forgot how good it was. And my casserole is delicious! I can taste it! My stomach feels full and uncomfortable now of course but it’s less annoying late in the day when I can just lie here and rot. Maybe the trick is to simply not eat for the majority of the day. Sigh. I drank some juice in the morning so I never felt lightheaded or anything. I daresay a little lemon sorbet would be ok too.

Also, and he was sweetly delicate about this, through he needn’t have been, he told me that Oregon is a “Death With Dignity” state! So when it all gets to be too much I can choose to go on my own terms. He says just having that medication on hand can help me feel like I still have a little bit of control as it all slips away. I’m so very happy about this! Not yet, of course! I’ve got eggplant parm and lemon-blueberry muffins to make and a LOT more videogames and drawing and Taskmaster and knitting and hanging out with my lovvies still. But someday I can make that choice for myself. I didn’t know it was legal in the US but it turns out there are eight states that allow this humane treatment. Only eight, which is shocking, but at least there are eight and I live in one of them. https://deathwithdignity.org/states/