Mastodon 2012 March —

Archive for March 2012

March 15, 2012

March 15th, 2012 — 11:08pm

This post makes me laugh and laugh and laugh, and then laugh some more:


Hear that, Leprechauns? Looks like the luck of the Irish just ran out. Little Jack McGovern doesn’t want your pot of gold or your Lucky Charms or whatever freaky crap you have stashed at the end of your rainbow. He wants you dead, and he’s using nothing but a lasso, a spear, and an unnamed accomplice with messed up arms to make it happen. On March 17th, the dirt will get muddy with fresh, green blood. Top o’ the mournin’ to ye!

Look out, leprechauns!

I appreciate young Jack’s writing style. Terse, to the point, no-frills.

8 comments » | Blog

March 7, 2012

March 7th, 2012 — 11:45am

The funniest knitting pattern you’ll ever read!

Now, you may never have considered knitting a purse in the shape of a pineapple; but in the mid-19th century, judging from the number of extant examples and the number of published patterns for making them, they were Just the Thing. The craze was only for pineapple bags, mind you, not for hand luggage knit in the shape of fruits generally.

The pattern I figured I’d use is in the only Victorian knitting book of which I own an original copy: The Ladies’ Work Table Book, published in Philadelphia in the 1860s. There is no author’s name given, possibly because she was afraid of angry readers coming after her. The patterns in The Ladies’ Work Table Book are the sort of that give the entire era a bad name.

The pineapple bag, in particular, is a doozy. It rambles like an opium dream from one page to the next without even a paragraph break, only to end abruptly with the supremely helpful phrase “…then knit the stalks and narrow [bind] off.”

Then knit the stalks? Stalks? What are the stalks supposed to look like? I grew up in Hawaii across the street from a pineapple field. I don’t remember any stalks. How big are they? Answer comes there none.

ROFLMAO! Thank you, Franklin Habit!

1 comment » | Blog

March 1, 2012

March 1st, 2012 — 10:23am

Happy March! Hope you had a good Leap Day yesterday, and that Leap Day William brought you lots of candy.

Last night I invented a handkerchief edging that I like a lot. Thought I’d write it up here so I can remember how to do it.


Mark off a hemmed hankie in inches and imagine 1/2 and 1/4 inch marks too. Shells happen at every inch mark and at the corners, and all the scs are at 1/4-inch intervals between the shells.

Starting at an inch-mark: 6 dc, sc, ch1, sc, ch3 picot, ch1, sc. Then you’re ready to do another 6 dc at the next inch-mark.

At corners work 8 dc.

Easy! Pretty! Delicate!

Comment » | Free Patterns, Handmade

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