Archive for June 2017

All is not lost!

June 30th, 2017 — 10:08pm

All is not lost! I may have another chance to show this wonderful man that I love him. I may have a chance to win his trust and his love back.

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June 29th, 2017 — 7:58am

He says he’s not sure how he feels. I said I will wait till he figures it out. He waited for me for three years before he gave up. I’ll wait.

All is not lost, yet.

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broken heart

June 27th, 2017 — 8:28pm

I fell hard for a man in 2014 but I freaked out and dumped him (twice) but we stayed friends and he has been my best friend for the last three years while he told me that he still loved me but he finally gave up on me and has met someone else and I realize now that I’ve loved him all along (somehow everyone knew this but me) and it’s too late and I wasted three years not being with him, THREE YEARS, and I am dying of a broken heart.

I kept trying to date other guys but no one ever came close to touching my heart like he does and every time my phone dinged, EVERY TIME, I hoped it was a text from him. Why didn’t I figure it out? Why was I so stupid? Why didn’t I listen to my heart and my feelings instead of my stupid brain that kept telling me that we were too different and that he’d be better off with someone else??

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June 21st, 2017 — 8:20am


Me, June 2017, looking hot hot hot.

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hello world

June 12th, 2017 — 11:03am

I’ve been sick with a cold for the last week (my typical sore throat -> stuffy head -> cough) but it’s not terrible and I’m on the mend.

The Remodulin SQ is going well. I’m up to 0.012 mL/hour (goal is 0.03mL/hour). I’m still not sure I notice much difference in my shortness of breath (SOB) but my mental stamina is much greater than even a month ago. I did a few small sewing projects, and I’ve been reading again! (This might be because I’m not on Uptravi anymore, but either way it’s good.)

I feel like I haven’t talked about anything but Remodulin here for a long time. Sorry about that. It’s just a HUGE thing for me. I’m pleased that I got accustomed to the pump very quickly. It doesn’t bother me at all. I sewed a few different carrying systems for it and finally made one that works well — a purple flannel pocket on a not-too-tight elastic band that I can wear slung kinda low around my hips.

I’ve been reading Agatha Christie on my kindle every night for bedtime, plus I went to the library last week and got three great books which I read in quick succession:

My Not So Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella (it’s always so much fun to read a new one of her novels!)
Edgar and Lucy by Victor Lodato (amazing)
Between Them by Richard Ford (a lovely memoir)

Then I returned them on Saturday (even though I was sick) and got a new stack! Right now I’m reading American Eclipse by David Baron, which is about the solar eclipse of 1878.

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