Mastodon Thursday —


The minute I eat anything, I start feeling uncomfortable again. Gah! But still not horrible like yesterday. This morning, before eating anything, I breaded and fried some eggplant slices and tomorrow I’ll assemble them into a little eggplant parm, and then I’ll eat it and feel awful. But I just had a great Zoom appointment with wonderful Dr. Jeff Robinson, my pulmonology specialist, and we have a plan. I’ll take metolazone again tomorrow to try to get ahead of the edema, even though I just took it yesterday. And he’s going to ask his pharmacist if there’s a gentler form of potassium I can take, a liquid perhaps. We’ll try that first, and if that doesn’t help I’ll skip my potassium supplements for a few days to find out if that really is what’s making my guts feel so bad. Feels good to have a plan. He wants to do everything possible to keep me comfortable.

Also, and he was sweetly delicate about this, through he needn’t have been, he told me that Oregon is a “Death With Dignity” state! So when it all gets to be too much I can choose to go on my own terms. He says just having that medication on hand can help me feel like I still have a little bit of control as it all slips away. I’m so very happy about this! Not yet, of course! I’ve got eggplant parm and lemon-blueberry muffins to make and a LOT more videogames and drawing and Taskmaster and knitting and hanging out with my lovvies still. But someday I can make that choice for myself. I didn’t know it was legal in the US but it turns out there are eight states that allow this humane treatment. Only eight, which is shocking, but at least there are eight and I live in one of them.

Category: Blog 2 comments »

2 Responses to “Thursday”

  1. Brenda

    I live in Maine which is also a DWD state. I am a palliative care social worker and have been present to provide emotional support on two different occasions, while someone so was working with ingested their DWD meds. They were two of the most peaceful deaths I have attended (been a hospice worker for many years too). I am glad you are feeling positive about the fact that your kind doctor reminded you of this option. I have also worked with folks who had the meds on hand and then decided they didn’t need to take them, but just knowing that there was a way to opt out if they were suffering more than they could deal with… that was enough for them. Hugs to you Kara and thank you for sharing your life and your good humor with all us friends and strangers.

    BTW… I am listening yo you read Alice Through the Looking Glass. I will enjoy hearing your voice read wonderful stories after you are gone.


  2. kara

    Oh Brenda thank you so much. That’s exactly how I imagine it would be — an escape route if necessary, and a death on my own terms. Thank you for sharing your experience <3

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