Mastodon Eragon —


Do not read this post if you haven’t yet seen the Eragon movie, and plan to. Go ahead and read it if you want an excuse NOT to go see it ;-)

This morning I took Henry to see Eragon. He’s been looking forward to this movie so much, and was worried that the first show (11:30am) would sell out, so we got to the theater an hour and a half early, bought tickets from the automatic kiosk, and hung out in Starbucks until the theater opened at 11. We were the first ones in so we got our very favorite seats, in the center just behind the railing. About 15 other people joined us eventually, heheh. The movie was a steaming pile of elephant dung. Fans of the book might like it, I guess. Henry certainly did and gave it an 8 out of 10; he had some complaints but was mostly just happy to see those beloved characters come to life. I didn’t read the book — couldn’t get past the first few pages, not being a fan of heavily derivitive, poorly-written fantasy. The movie was a series of strung-together cliches, badly written and directed. I spent the time playing “Spot The Continuity Flaws,” “What’s Wrong With This Scene,” “Didn’t I See This Scene In Star Wars?,” and “Who The Hell Designed These Ghastly Sets And Costumes?”

Jeremy Irons and John Malkovich did the best they could with what they had to work with, I suppose.

Oh well, at least Henry enjoyed it and I had fun taking him and seeing his pleasure and excitement.

LOL. I just went over to Rotten Tomatoes to see what the rest of the world thought about the movie. It got an average rating of 4.4/10, so I guess I am not the only one who hated it. Here are some choice quotes:

I left Eragon feeling like I’d just watched a Renaissance Faire stage its own production of “Star Wars.”

In a time of darkness, under the evil reign of John Malkovich… a hero shall rise. But lo, there will be little rejoicing, for this dragon rider (newcomer Edward Speleers) is but a nancy boy.

A load of generic mush perhaps best served as a piece of bitchin’ ’70s van art.

That last one especially cracks me up. I kept having flashbacks to 1977, what with Eragon’s flared leather hip-huggers, puffy shirt, and sweet leather vest. God. Go read some more of the hilarity:

Category: Blog 2 comments »

2 Responses to “Eragon”

  1. Kathy

    Dan and his girlfriend Megan were disappointed, too, as fans of the book. Dan liked it better than Megan.

  2. Michelle

    I SO agree with you! Ken and I decided to see the movie on the spur-of-the-moment Friday. We each liked the book well enough, keeping in mind the whole time we were reading that a 15-to-17-year-old had written it, of course. I think we liked Eragon better once we read Eldest – the story seemed to get marginally better on reading more of the arc. Oh, if we could just have those two hours wasted in the theater back…and our $13.50 (thankfully it was a matinee). All I could think of to say afterward was, “Did I just watch a poorly-produced, low-budget after school special???”

    Jeremy Irons and John Malkovich, two actors I respect and usually enjoy the work of, were brought low here. Yes, they did what they could with the material and the directing, but still!

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