A new thing

July 29th, 2021 — 8:24am

I think I have a new health problem lol. Ever since Sunday, the sides of two of my fingers are covered in dozens of tiny painful bumps. Doctor Google says Dyshidrotic Eczema:
https://nationaleczema.org/eczema/types-of-eczema/dyshidrotic-eczema/
which is painful and annoying but harmless and should clear up eventually.

I have an appointment with my wonderful primary care doc, Dr. Nguyen, today so I can get a real diagnosis. It’s actually a follow-up appt for my hospital fun last week.

I also have a zit on my nose that has been coming and going for nearly three months so I’ll ask him about that, too. Hope it’s not nose cancer.

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House

July 28th, 2021 — 8:28pm

Dave the Best Boyfriend Ever came over today to hang out. He had a couple of zoom meetings which he attended from my room, and we had our usual lunch, and snuggled and talked for hours, and went to see a house he was thinking about buying. The house is a nope but it was a ton of fun to walk through it!

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More olympics

July 26th, 2021 — 8:29pm

Today watched the women’s street skateboarding finals!! So exciting, so cool, and the tiny 13yo Brazilian girl got silver! So thrilled for her. Hope to see her again in four years. Also lots of men’s gymnastics. The rings just BLOW my MIND. Humans are AMAZING.

I’m so impressed by the camera work.

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Nice day

July 25th, 2021 — 8:54pm

A fairly tired day but nice all the same. Lunch and hanging out with wonderful Dave, then my daily hour of Bach over FaceTime with Mom, then I ate my leftover lunch, watched the women’s skateboarding qualification, watched an ep of Arrested Development, super sleepy now

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Olympics

July 24th, 2021 — 8:33pm

I was kinda ignoring the Olympics because I’m appalled that they’re taking place in a global pandemic and I’m pissed off at the general misogyny and racism of the IOC.

But Kirsten asked if I knew how to watch the BBC‘s coverage… and yes, dear sister, I do :D

So I took my laptop out to the living room and we all watched together— men‘s gymnastics, some cycling, some rowing, and a whole lot of skateboarding! It is SO COOL that skateboarding is an Olympic event now! It was super interesting and exciting to watch, so I’m glad Kirst asked or i would have missed it.

Looks like surfing is an event now, too, which should be fun!

I like seeing events that literally any kid can try, regardless of income or parental involvement.

And the BBC‘s coverage is stellar. No ads, almost no goopy Human Interest packages, and there isn’t as much icky nationalism as on US channels. Why, the BBC shows athletes who aren’t British! We saw Egyptian, Irish, and Israeli gymnasts! On US tv you generally only see US athletes (and their Arch Rivals, eyeroll) and events that the US is good at. It’s lovely to get a broader, more international view.

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itchy

July 23rd, 2021 — 5:02pm

Not sure if I’ve complained about my adhesive allergy here recently. It is HORRIBLE. My doctors and I have tried EVERY ADHESIVE KNOWN TO MAN and I react to it all — hypoallergenic, made for babies, nothing works. So guess what happens when I go to the hospital? They stick things all over me and then my skin begins to burn and itch and develop bumps and get all red and my entire body gets itchy.

On Wednesday, the second day I was in the hospital, I removed the just-in-case unused IV port myself. I’ve asked them to do it in the past, and they give me this whole speech about what if there’s an emergency and we need to put drugs into you really fast, and I tell them that’s fine they can start a new IV if that happens (I have easy, excellent veins), and then after a lot of arguing they remove the IV port. So I just did it myself when my skin started to burn under the adhesive. Don’t think they even noticed.

Two days later and my skin is still killing me there. Burning, itching, swollen, hurting. My corticosteroid ointment helps for about ten minutes and then it starts up again.

And of course I had all the monitoring electrodes stuck to my skin, must have been eight or ten of them over those two days. So I have eight or ten burning, itching, swollen circles on my torso. Haven’t had enough energy to shower, and even though I tried to wipe off the stick-um with alcohol wipes the damage has been done. I am sooooo itchy.

Anyone out there have this problem?

In other news, after feeling tired but basically ok yesterday I slept badly because I kept half-waking, gasping for air, but I never woke up enough to think of a solution. I was using 5 lpm of oxygen (I usually use 4 at night). When I woke up and checked my vitals, my heart was basically ok, fairly steady and about 80-90 bpm, which is normal for me, but my blood oxygen saturation was much too low at around 88%. So I turned on my second oxygen concentrator and stuck that cannula in my nose, too, for a total of 10 lpm. Oxygen level rose up to about 92% which is still not good enough, and I felt “funny”. Not dizzy, no pain, just Not Right. Soooo I checked to see if Marcos (brother-in-law) would be available to drive me to the UCSF hospital where they understand my condition and can cope with my crazy meds without trying to kill me. He only had one meeting today, so that was a relief. Also left a voicemail message and a mychart message for my pulmonology team up there, describing what was going on.

Pretty quickly after that, my oxygen levels started climbing back up to a normal level, and now I’m back down to 5 lpm and 95%, which is good enough and nothing to worry about. Still quite fatigued from Hospital Adventure and Stress, but I no longer feel “funny”. Lay in bed and rested all day.

Nurse at UCSF just called me back. We discussed. She told me to take an extra 20mg of Lasix (diuretic) over the weekend to help flush extra fluid from my body, and check in with them next week. And go to the emergency room if things get weird.

I think I’ll be ok now.

I hope I’ll be ok now.

I would like very much to still be alive for a while longer, thank you very much!

In 2013 I wanted to die. I very much wanted to die, or at least to not be alive. But things got better. And then things got better again and again and again. And then my mental health got a LOT better (Yay for therapy, everyone go to therapy). And now I’ve met the man of my dreams, I have a brilliant spark of a granddaughter and another due to join the family any day, a big warm family that loves and supports me. My life is great except for being at death’s door all the time. Ha.

If you have depression too, hang in there. Things will get better. Just hang on.

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Day of rest

July 22nd, 2021 — 7:48pm

Still ok but tired. Rested all day. Dave came over to bring me lunch and keep me company. To quote Buddy the Elf: I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it!

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Home!

July 21st, 2021 — 8:17pm

Home home home home home

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Still here…

July 21st, 2021 — 5:53pm

Still in hospital. They’re really just observing me at this point — there isn’t anything they can DO. My heart is acting normally again and we’re waiting for my lungs to catch up. I’m still only at 88% blood oxygen saturation (usually mid-90s at home) but I’m not getting worse and I’ll bet a night of real uninterrupted sleep will help a lot.

Nurse just came in and said the doc said I can go home tonight! Hallelujah.

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Hospital

July 20th, 2021 — 7:06pm

I’m in the hospital again, tra la la.

This morning my heart started going bananas, my blood oxygen saturation dropped scarily —couldn’t get it out of the 80s— and my BP dropped. Cold sweats too. Called 911, lovely squad of paramedics came and whisked me to the hospital with lights and sirens!

ER doc gave me diltiazem to calm my heart down, and tons of oxygen. Ran lots of tests. They think it was an episode of atrial fibrillation. I feel fine now but my oxygen saturation is still not where it should be and they want to keep me overnight for observation. It’s all good. I have my phone, my charger, and Lily Bear. They gave me a nice dinner of bland vegetarian slop. Hospital food, amirite?

Update: the drugs wore off and now I feel horrible again. Glad they didn’t send me home. It is intensely frustrating to be dealing with this.

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New book!

July 19th, 2021 — 10:05am

I started recording Heaven to Betsy today! Here are the first two chapters:

01 The Farm

02 Butternut Center

However, when I uploaded them to my archive.org collection,  I realized that I never finished “Over Sea, Under Stone” and the second book about a certain English nanny!  Oops.  I’ll try to remember to alternate.  Tomorrow it will be Susan Cooper’s turn. (Over Sea is my least favorite of the Dark is Rising series so it’s a bit hard to get motivated, but with Betsy as a reward I’ll get it done)

Slept fairly well, feeling fine today.  Migraine is gone. It’s warm and summery but not boiling.  I have excellent nectarines to eat.

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Sunday

July 18th, 2021 — 8:50pm

Lovely day. Warm enough to wear a summer dress but not hot. Lunch with Dave, then hours of talking and cuddling. He’s so interesting and easy to talk to, and I’m not usually much of a talker. And we whipped through a cryptic crossword too. Tired now with a small migraine so time for some Taskmaster and bed. I was just watching a hilarious ep — let’s see if I can find it on YouTube… s09e04… Ah yes!

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Saturday

July 17th, 2021 — 6:25pm

Did laundry, washed my hair, sewed four soft burp clothes out of some bits of flannel I dug out of my stash. Played WoW for a couple hours — I’ve been having a lot of fun doing leftover beginner quests with my highest-level toon, a lvl 53 gnome warlock. I finished up Azuremyst and Bloodmyst today and have moved on to Teldrassil. Very enjoyable to one-shot everything with just my wand :D I get no experience for such easy kills and only a TINY bit for handing in quests, but it’s very satisfying to see the gray exclamation points (markers for low-level quest givers) disappearing from my map and it’s sooooo relaxing and stress-free.

Now I’m going to knit while finishing my current audiobook, “Strangers on a Train” by Patricia Highsmith. Yes, the “Strangers on a Train” on which Hitchcock based his film, which I’ve never seen.

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Much better

July 16th, 2021 — 8:26pm

Woke up better today. Thank goodness. Finished sewing a sleep sack for the little one — due in four weeks but almost certain to arrive a bit early like her big sister. Exciting!

View post on imgur.com

My first go at an improvised henley placket following this tutorial:
https://www.heyjunehandmade.com/henley-placket-tutorial/ I should have offset the slit so the snaps would be centered but oh well, next time :D

Dave came over to take me to lunch and hang out for a few hours. Gosh he’s great! I’m so lucky! He’s calm, warm, loving, open, honest, kind, understanding, generous, gentle, witty, intelligent, curious, creative, snuggly, fun! *heart eyes*

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Flat

July 15th, 2021 — 1:19pm

Oh boy. I feel flat today. This is usually a sign that a depressive episode is on the way. Also very tired, so that could be the problem. Just gonna lie here and listen to audiobooks.

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Wednesday

July 14th, 2021 — 7:19pm

Drove down to San Jose to visit DF at work for a long lunch. He fed me scones with strawberry jam and double cream. Oh man. DOUBLE CREAM. Cream that’s thicker than mayonnaise. Yesssssssssss.

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Pickles

July 13th, 2021 — 6:44pm

Went to Trader Joe’s this morning for grapefruit juice and to return a jar of truly horrible pickles. I usually buy their jars of small whole pickles but they were out of stock last time, so I tried a jar of “dill pickle spears”. They were shockingly bland, with tough waxy skins and mushy insides. Gross. Couldn’t even finish the one I tried. It’s rare for Trader Joe’s to sell a crummy product! Luckily they’re super nice about returns. No receipt needed, just show up with your unloved item and they give you credit.

I’ve learned my pickle lesson!

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Words With Friends

July 12th, 2021 — 4:52pm

I have a feeling I wrote about this already but I really can’t remember and I don’t want to scroll through old posts to find out so here we go again maybe!

I reinstalled good ol’ Words With Friends Classic to play with DF — finally, a sweetheart who can beat me at scrabble! (Occasionally, heheh. And he doesn’t get all butt-hurt that I kick his ass most of the time)

At first I had the app set so that random players could start games with me, which they did, in droves. Interestingly, they were all men with generic Nonthreatening Handsome Guy profile pics and were VERY interested to know my location and marital status. When I didn’t chat back and started mopping the floor with them, they’d mostly disappear. And the ones who didn’t disappear were clearly cheating (the app lets you pay to cheat) because they were playing bizarre, arcane words in non-strategic places on the board. Any real scrabble player knows you NEVER make it easy for your opponent to reach a DW or TW bonus square unless it’s literally your only option.

So I turned that setting off. Sorry, catphishers and scrabble cheats, I am not the girl you’re looking for.

So now I play with my uncle, my sweetie, and my son — all of whom don’t cheat and can beat me some (or all) of the time! My uncle Jack is a master. I don’t think I’ve ever beaten him. The app says I’ve been playing since 2009. If you played back then you’ll remember that it was a nice basic game without all the pay-to-cheat nonsense and silly achievements and all that it has now. But in those days it froze all the time and it doesn’t do that anymore anyway.

f you’re not a cheater and you want to play with me, I’m kayrayovac in WWF Classic (linked in first paragraph)

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Sunday

July 11th, 2021 — 7:19pm

Excellent day. Drove Chloe to the airport in the mid-morning. Didn’t need GPS to tell me how to get there and back. Easy drive, no traffic.

DF came over in the afternoon and we had lunch at our regular place, Falafel Corner. He likes the gyros wrap; I get the Greek salad or dolmas. Super-fresh, tasty, reasonable prices, friendly staff, 2 minutes from home. And they have Martinelli’s sparkling apple juice!

After lunch we just lay around and talked and laughed for the rest of the day. I was very tired from my drive to the airport but he is incredibly understanding and perfectly happy to do nothing with me. *heart eyes*

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Chloe and me

July 10th, 2021 — 10:10pm

View post on imgur.com

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